Saturday, April 24, 2010

A series of unfortunate (yet fortunate) events.

Alas... my time in Gwen Stefani has come to an end.  I have decided to move onto bigger and better things.  Like Exodus for example.  That's right... I have gotten accepted as a trial into the best guild in the United States.  Well they were when I transferred on Monday.  Premonition decided to kill the Heroic Lich King the other night and had to knock us down to #2.  I'm not sweating too much about it though.  I'd rather be a horde character than an alliance.  They just have ridiculously better racials for PvE raiding (Actually the real reason is because they look cooler).

But moving onward to the aformentioned unfortunate events...

Exodus' previous prot paladin, Slackadin, got into a car accident as is no longer able to play the game.  This is what allowed me to even apply to the guild in the first place.  I am sure he was an exceptional tank and a great guy but without this car accident I would still be in my other guild.  But I guess all things happen for a reason, right?  But wait, I'm not done yet... there's even more to this story!

The day after I join Exodus their main tank, Burter, quits the game.  It's almost surreal that this unique circumstance has occured.  One of their tanks gets into an accident and then another quits the day after I join?  I am now a full time tank in the 2nd best guild in the country and I'm in the first week of my trial period.  They've already got me tanking a 10 man full time (I will get into more deatil on this later) and they said that they were extremely pleased with my performance after my first night of raiding... a night in which we cleared all 11 heroic mode ICC fights in two hours.... Let me say that again...

We cleared all 11 heroic ICC fights up to the Lich King..... IN TWO FUCKING HOURS!!!

I swear I have never had so many people riding my ass on threat before in my entire life.  I had to change my tanking gear and regem stuff so I can have at least a 10% gap between me and the #2 person on threat.

Like I said before the 10 man I am tanking for now is the 2nd Exodus group.  They call it their "melee group".  This group has not killed the Lich King on heroic yet (their ranged group has) but we are very close.  The best part about this group is the fact that there is a living God amongst it's members.  He is by far the best hunter I have ever seen play this game.  That's right boys and girls... I'm talking about Kripparrian.  This guy rides my ass on threat like a fucking fat asshole raiding a bakery after not eating for 2 weeks.  All I have to say is thank god for misdirects or he'd be dead more than he's alive.  After talking to him in my interview and raiding with him I discovered he is a really cool guy.  But I swear I thought I was going to die the other night.

Oh would you like to know why?... I shall tell you.

There we were tanking the Heroic Lich King on 10 man.  Ghouls and Horrors all around me!  The Lich King stared at me and said "LOLSHADOWTRAPMOTAHFUCKA!!".  I quickly strafed to my left and the horror I was furiously tanking followed me.  But wait!  HE BEGAN TO CAST SHOCKWAVE ONCE HE TURNED SLIGHTY TO THE RIGHT!! Out of the corner of my eye I look... and there is Kripparrian... sitting hopelessly by a pillar with nothing to do.  The horror completes his cast and Kripparrian meets his demise... no thanks to me.  I am sitting there in my chair, silent for several seconds, trying to register what just happened.  I say to myself...

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK FUCKFUCKFUCK SHIT ASS FUCKKKK I JUST FUCKING KILLED KRIPPARRIAN WTF I'M SO FUCKING DEADDDDDDDDD!!!"

(Yes children, just like that)

A few seconds later on vent I hear him quietly say... "Heh. That's cool."  I calmly try to explain what happened thinking that it was all in vain.  I was dead.  I was ready to get my head ripped off... but Kripparrian understood what happened and insisted that we get back in there for some more attempts. 

After the raid was over he comforted me.  He quietly whispered in my ear that everything would be ok.  We cuddled together on the bed and I burried my head deep into his chest and wanted to lay there forever. (Ok not really)

All in all my experience raiding with them has been great so far.  I was somewhat expecting a group of elitists who were completely and utterly serious about this game.  I was expecting raid leaders to rage on vent when someone made a mistake.  Oh boy was I wrong.  This group of people is so laid back and cool it is just full of pure awesomeness.

I think I am going to really like it here.